There have been a lot of posts on mancouch, datingish and the like ridiculing post-pubescent male virgins. Titles like "Help my boyfriend is a virgin!", "How to get laid in four easy steps!" and "Why there is no such thing as a male virgin" are just a few of the titles littering the community.
Then there are the self-proclaimed sex-experts like Serenadante. They like to say that there is something wrong with those of us who aren't "getting any", and don't care to.
Even off of Xanga; Fox's The Family Guy Even made an episode making fun of us, and there was a movie titled, "The forty year old virgin"
Not only do I admit to not having had sex, I'm not even interested in having sex at this point in my life. When I say that, people really get offended. And I don't get why, it's my life isn't it? I can do with it what I want, at least that's the argument they give to defend those who hop from bed sheets to bed sheets on a moments notice.
Let me give a couple of examples of what I deal with on a daily basis. A school official passes me a condom, then I say, "No thanks, I don't need it." With a wink and a nod he says: "You should carry it in your wallet just in case."
NO! There is no "just in case" There is no "if." I simply will never need a condom. Now leave me alone! When and if I do eventually have sex, it will be with someone I can totally trust. We will be ready for a baby if that is our destiny.
Then there is the Atheist who says, "What are you, some kind of fundy?" Not to knock Atheism, especially not based on the misbehavior of two or three individuals, but just because one does not chose to live their life according to your morals, does not mean their necessarily a fundamentalist.
Then there is my doctor. I recently switched from a pediatrician to a regular PCP, and when he asked me about my sexual history, then he couldn't believe what I told him> "You can tell me anything you like, but I do need to know the truth." "I HAVE told you the truth." That's when he pulls out the condom. Why does every body want to give me a condom? I DON'T WANT ONE!!!
Being an openly male virgin at my age and in this culture is like being openly gay in a southern baptist church. We're ostracized and ridiculed every time we "out" ourselves.
Of course this all leads us to the obvious question. Why be so open about my virginity? Think of it this way: How should you react to a gay guy being asked why he would want to be open about his sexual preferences in the face of ostracism and ridicule? Whatever answer you would give him, I think I could give also.
This is why so many boys/men pretend to have experience when they do not. And most of the time that's what I see. Guys claiming they have experience they do not. But then, most of the guys I meet are teenagers.
Even here on Xanga where people are supposed to be such mature adults, I'm greeted with stupid statements like: "Are you gay?" "Wouldn't it pop?" "You are in desperate need of sex education." "Oh you'll meet the girl of your dreams and then you can't help yourself." Or the most offensive of all: "You're lying."
I think I'm perfectly able to control my own body thank you very much! And that statement is what I think people like Serena and Hector find so offensive. That people like me can control our bodies. That I'm proof that her power base is in danger should more people realize what I represent.
Think about it, if everyone took control of their bodies, their sex drive, and their life in general then that would be the end of organizations like play-boy, hustler, and planned parenthood. That's why we so often say Christianity is freeing. Of course the so-called sex experts say that's not freeing, but what it seems they really mean is, it's not freeing for them.
I've been around Xanga for a little while now and I've seen that there are nice Xangans and really mean ones. I've gotten really nice comments from the nice ones, and I've seen the really mean one's tell vicious lies on others. But the following lie is about me, and that makes it personal.
Before I get into what the conservatives of Xanga said, let me explain to you about my relationship with Nidan.
I'm one of those worthless little beggers that conservatives don't like. I'm not rich and I probably never will be. My mother can't take care of herself and my... Her ex-husband did some bad things, so he is in jail, where he belongs.
But that left me with no place to live. I'm legally too young to live on my own, so according to conservative doctrine, I'm basically a drain on the system. But make no mistake, I CAN take care of myself.
I first met Nidan because he was my best friend's Karate teacher. Soon Nidan would be my teacher as well. I've learned a lot from Nidan for more than half of my life. Not just about Karate, but also about spiritual things. He is the one who baptized me.
When my Mom's ex-husband went to jail, I had no place to go. I even spent those first two nights in juvinile dention, with kids who have broken the law. So if any of you ever try to argue to me that it's not really illegal to be poor in this country, I hope you'll understand if I ignore your inexperience.
I didn't have any family to speak of. I've heard many conservatives say that doesn't happen these days, but I'm living proof that it does. It was Nidan who agreed to give me a home till I graduate from school. (That deal was made on the condition that I must stay in school till I graduate.) He's even said he will pay for me to go to colledge if that is what I decide.
He is NOT a pedophile.
Is he a jerk? Well yes, I know better than most that he is. But he's also a good person. As for me, even if I were 18 I'm not gay. As part of his jerky side, Nidan published proof of that just last week. (Please don't anyone post a link to that post.)
So imagine my surprise when Mtngirlsouth said this about me. "Nidan has a live in partner, and evidently holds a position of leadership in their church"
Musterion was at least decent enough to not just take her at here word. He asked her "I know who this is but I wasn't aware of that. This person has admitted to being gay?"
So this gossiping, mean woman addmitted, "This is something I was told a while back."
I would really like to know who told her this, so I can ask them why they don't call me gay to my face rather than going behind my back. Even further I want to ask what proof they have that Nidan is a pedophile. This is the second time some gossiping old church lady has made that claim, and niether has shown any proof to date. That is outrageous, and I wonder why they are allowed to get away with this kind of thing.
This cowarded old lady ranted on my site all last night after I went to bed, called me and Nidan all sorts of dirty names, then like the weasel she is, she erased her comments so that no one else could see them.
I'm not letting the weasel get away with this so I'm telling you all what she said.
She claims not to care about Nidan's personal life, be it pedophile(Which he is NOT) or whatever, but then in the very next sentence she demanded I tell her what he is? Here's a novel idea, woman: ASK HIM YOURSELF!!!
She recited her claims that he's a false teacher then dared to call me a liar for standing up for myself. This woman is evil.
I got into a fight with three school bullies a few days ago. There have been several incidents with one of the three guys in particular over the past few years, and to be frank I was tired of his crap. I was sticking up for a boy a few years younger than me, that these three goons were going to toss down a flight of stairs.
I want to be very clear on this point: THERE WERE THREE BULLIES, THIS WAS NOT A 1 ON 1 FIGHT Jim knew all of this but he's all pissed at me anyway. He wrote this post.
That's surprising because a few years ago he had to sit in a meeting with the one bully and the Principal because we had gotten into a fight then too! He even wrote a post on that meeting, (though I can't seem to find it in his archives) and told me I had done the right thing.
Like this time the particular bully had been picking on a smaller weaker kid then too! This time I told him over and over again to leave these smaller kids (And there were several) alone. But the bully thought he could get away with it.
These three jerks have been doing things like pushing this seventh-grader around and calling him names, such as "tomato boy" and "faggot" (What does "Tomato-boy" even mean?)
I reported it to the teachers four times this year, but the victim wouldn't back me up because he was afraid that if he did that would make things worse. So the teachers never followed through with my complaints. But not this time. This time the seventh-grader knew these boys wouldn't be bullying him ever again, so he told the dean everything.
By the way, have I mentioned that these 3 jerks were going to throw this kid down a flight of stairs? They told the dean they weren't gonna, that they were just trying to scare him, but they sure looked like they were gonna do it to me. They were all three pushing/pulling him right to the top of the stairs when I got there.
Like I said Jim's siding with the bullies for some reason. He thinks I used too much force when I hit the particular one. I told him: "I knew I was going to get only one good shot on this kid before the teachers arrived, so I wanted to make sure it was a hit he would remember all the way till graduation."
So yes I hit this kid, I hit him right in the solar-plexus, and I hit him with the intent to hurt him as bad as I could. And yes he ended up in the hospital. But I don't think I should feel that bad about it. Kid had it coming.
A couple of days ago Justin Debin posted on an analogy about three blind men an elephant and an atheist.
Here's ow it went: There's three blind men and they all feel different parts of the elephant but they don't take the elephant as a whole. The point is they have a limited perception of the elephant. The atheist on the other hand is not blind and can see the three blind men are just experiencing part of the elephant.
But I think JDB is right.
The atheist really should be seen as another blind man in this analogy. Anyone who assumes that only they can see the whole elephant is arrogant. No matter what religion (or non-religion) that person is. It's always too easy to just assume you are right and everyone else is just wrong.
That's why the whole setup is skewed the sighted person is always going to end up looking righteous and all-knowing, because that is how the story is structured. That's just wrong.